ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
