If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
