Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize