just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
