Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
