filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
