I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
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We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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