I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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