I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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