You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
