I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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