Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
