Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
