So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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