im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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