I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
