but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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