my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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