I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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