She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
