My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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