the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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