My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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