I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
