Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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