youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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