just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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