Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
