Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
