I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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