Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I met the friendliest cop last night
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
