Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize