I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
