I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
