The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
