I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
