I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
