when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
How does it feel to date your dad?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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