i wish my penis had a tongue
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I have fence marks all over my body
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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