it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i just made my gag reflex go away.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i believe in u and ur pee
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
