i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
