if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
