So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
