Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
