last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
