She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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