Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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