I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
