dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
