Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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