What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
