1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
