My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
