I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
