Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
