Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
