I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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