where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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