I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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