This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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