You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
it glows. i had to have it.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
