her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
