He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
