They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
