Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
