You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
